If Santa were Quaker . . .*
- He would work with a clearness committee, an oversight committee, and at least 3 subcommittees.
- He would distribute only fairly-traded and educational gifts.
- He would be more slender because of the whole-wheat flour, cage-free eggs, and organic carob in the cookies.
- Fur-trimmed suit? I don’t think so.
- None of this “good or bad” list** crap: He would see That of God in every child and would “hold in the light” any so-called bad children.
- He wouldn’t be out past “Quaker Midnight”: 10 p.m.
- His wife would keep her maiden name.
- He might not be nearly so jolly, what with all the never-ending wars and injustices and never feeling that he was doing enough to Speak Truth to Power.
- His sleigh would be a hybrid –or–
- Rudolph would take turns with the others to lead the sleigh. Every reindeer has a light within.
- The elves and reindeer would earn a living wage.
- He would have to discern the voice of God before shouting “ho ho ho” or “Merry Christmas.”
- No toy soldiers, just conscientious objectors.
- He would make his rounds every day, because every day is holy.
*Written with help from HPR.
**If he did make a list, it would be on 100% post-consumer recycled paper, preferably hand-made.